Day 4

The girl had been repeatedly asking me if I was okay. I kept assuring her that I was. She said I looked sad. I really WAS okay -- I thought.
    True, I was feeling a bit overwhelmed by the condition of the house and all the cats and animals and my life not being where I had hoped it to be at this point in my life, but my spirits were in a good place. I didn't want to convey my thoughts to the kid! it would only make her defensive or upset her. And besides, what parent doesn't make adjustments to help their kid out now and then?
    What I didn't realize was that I'd been sitting in the same spot on the couch for three days straight! I was thankful for the extra time off and not having to work every day of the weekend at my part-time job as well. Whenever that happens that I get a work-less day I start planning my housework and getting things there that I never have time for.  This time, I just couldn't get started. I couldn't remove myself from the couch.
    Inadvertently I stayed there all weekend, and though I felt fine, my daughter (AKA, The Kid) got a little scared and worried about me. Later I realized I may have subconsciously been reserving my self for Monday morning knowing it would be a fight to pull myself from under the covers. It wasn't  until Monday morning when I stepped out into the daylight that I did notice there was a fog over me.
 
Then I had a scare driving home from work that night. Traffic was very heavy, very stop and go abruptly, and I started feeling nauseous. This happens to me now and again in stop and go traffic and eating something seems to help so I keep snacks in the car, but  I didn't have any at the time. My nausea turned to dizziness and I felt unsteady at the wheel but couldn't find a way to pull over in that heavy traffic. There was no way out. I kept getting pushed along with the flow of traffic as I tried to hold myself steady. I had to avoid looking at the tail lights in front of me because they seemed to make the dizziness worse, as they 'floated' around. I dug around in my purse and found an old cough drop and a piece of Double Bubble and those helped for a bit. Then I thought about breathing techniques but wasn't sure which to do. Was I supposed to breath into a bag or do LaMaze techniques or what? I was feeling faint and knew that sitting down and putting my head between my knees would help, but obviously I couldn't do that while driving. I started praying and forced myself to focus and inadvertently found myself blowing air out as if I were trying to whistle. By the time I got close positioned to pull over I was near my exit and traffic was now flowing. I still considered pulling over but felt that if I did I wouldn't be able to get myself going again. I prayed all the way home. After sitting in the car a few minutes I was able to crawl out and through my front door before collapsing into a chair. I found that The Kid had done a lot of cleaning and told me about the rest she was planning to do, offering help with bills and other things as well! (I guess my behavior really had scared her!)
I told The Kid of my dizziness and after she reprimanded me for not calling her, I asked her to run out and get me a Dr. Pepper and a Little Debbie Raisin Creme pie. I hadn't had one of those pies in years and I had no idea why I had to have those things right then but I just had to have them and  I can't say it helped but it didn't hurt either! :)